When Life Gives You Covid

The pandemic may technically be over, but the four of us ended up sick with the latest strain of the virus while on vacation!

My extended family was going on holiday together in the Pacific North West and I decided last minute that the kids and I would fly up to join them. It had simply been too long since I had seen everyone and I really wanted to be there. A good year out of E's autistic burnout, with my own healing from PTSD underway, I was confident that I could handle the trip and was determined to make it happen. So, I booked it, told the kiddos, and we were all excited for our imminent departure and family reunion!

The novelty of spontanious decisions is usually good for E. Interestingly, this time I told him of this trip a week in advance, but after some dysregulation in the days before we left, he requested that next time we have a trip planned that we tell him about it two days before we leave; he thinks that would be the sweet spot with enough time to pack, get excited, and ask questions, but not enough time for the anxiety and demands to mount too high. I'm so proud of him for being able to have a discussion like that with me and to think about what works best for him.

Our travel day was truly as smooth as I could have hoped, with the hardest part stemming from 3-year-old B's exhaustion during our layover in between flights. With maturity and medication, E is growing into himself as a sensible 8-year-old, and B is, well, very much 3, but with the volume dialed up even higher on all the typical 3-year-old learning because of the added layer of her neurodivergence. As such, she spent half of our layover trying to attack her brother while screaming at the top of her lungs such niceties as "I'm going to kick you in the penis!" Charming, right? I was proud of myself, actually, for being able to block out most of my worries about what other people at our gate must have been thinking. I know she is a neurodivergent preschooler on her first airplane trip, with only one parent present, and she was doing the best she could, as was I.

B's airport meltdown was calmed by a) buying her a stuffed unicorn at an overpriced giftshop, b) wrapping her and said unicorn on my back until we boarded the plane (babywearing for the win, always!), and c) the three hour nap she took for the entirety of the second flight. It had been an early start and, on top of all the newness of the travel day, she was simply exhausted.

We made it through the second flight, my dad met us at the airport, and we drove to meet everyone at my sister and brother-in-law's vacation home. There were a few seat kicks from both kids and several classic "are we there yet?" frustrations, but we made it. That was my bar for expectations. Just get there. Whatever will happen along the way will happen. We just need to get there. And, we did!

But, it turns out we had also picked up some unwanted germs on our travel day.

We arrived Sunday, I had two lovely days with my family in my favourite corner of the world, and then everything fell apart. I started feeling sick on Wednesday, felt very ill on Thursday, and had a positive covid test at the walk in clinic that afternoon ("Positive for covid! Haven't had one of those in the while," the nurse noted).

At that point no one else was showing any signs of illness, so I isolated in the guest trailer at the back of the property and the kids moved into the house with everyone else. While I was fighting off a high fever (103.1!), body aches, and intense sinus/ear pain, my family kept the kids happily occupied, and kept me updated regularly that they were truly doing ok.

E and B were on their own with my family for two and a half days. Everyone was very impressed how well they did! For two children who usually need my near constant presence for nervous system coregulation, they coped extremely well with having extended family care for them. In that regard, it was actually a really beneficial experience for the two of them, and a really nice opportunity for everyone to get to know them as well, without me around. I knew without a doubt they were in good hands with my family, but of course I still worried. Even though they were "doing ok" and even enjoying themselves with all the novelty and outings, I knew there would also be an element of masking taking place, as well as internal nervous system activation that would be accumulating, and all of that takes it's toll, even when everything seems "fine."

So, when we found out I had covid, I asked Jarrod to fly in to be with the kids. I was supposed to isolate for 5 days, and while my family would have happily kept the kids if need be, 5 days without either parent available would be too long for any young child in such circumstances, but especially hard for my two. So, my husband booked a flight for the next day, albeit begrudgingly, I won't lie. He had declined the invite to come on the trip to begin with and is very good at knowing his own boundaries; a vacation with extended family would have simply been too much for him. But we needed him, so he came.

He arrived Friday night, half the family was leaving Saturday anyways, then E started feeling sick Saturday afternoon, and everyone else went home as well, leaving the four of us the whole vacation house to ourselves, since it now seemed inevitable both kids would be sick eventually, and probably Jarrod, since he had been closely caring for them since he arrived (ie E slept by his side literally breathing IN my husband'smouth all night). Sure enough, after E started feeling feverish, everyone else fell like dominos, B coming down with it about 12 hours later, then Jarrod the day after that.

So, there we were, on a vacation to spend time with my family, but all family had to flee our contagion (none of them did end up ever being sick, thankfully and amazingly!) and the four of us were alone and ill. We cancelled our flights and gave ourselves plenty of time to convalesce before planning to head home when everyone was well. My original plan for a quick five night trip solo with the kids turned into an two and a half week debacle of back to back quarantines with everyone sick one after the other.

Luckily, the one silver lining is that we were in a beautiful spot with the beach and forest at our doorstep and as we started feeling better, we were able to explore together. We have one more night here at my sister's place before Jarrod is clear to be around other people, and therefore to fly, then it's back south for us.

So, we are soaking in the last of the gorgeous scenery, the mild weather, and the unexpected family time. May as well!